Old Friend, New Blog

A few months ago I was introduced to the DOC (Diabetes Online Community) and to a group of amazing parents of children with Type 1 Diabetes.  One of the first people to reach out to me was a beautiful mother of 3, who has a daughter with T1 the same age as Ally.  I read her blog religiously!  She is supportive and inspiring.  Candy Hearts is a blog you will want to visit....check it out at its new URL http://www.candyheartsblog.com/

Playdate Apologies

I'm just not the mom that I used to be - in many ways, really. 

But for today, my apologies go out to all of my playdate pals.  I was driving home from a playdate the other day and I realized that I had left without helping to clean up.  Once, not too long ago, I would have prided myself on teaching my children good manners.  In this case, good manners would be helping to clean up the toys when you have a playdate at someone else's house.  I am not being rude, I just have so many things going on in my head all the time that I can't focus.  Unfortunately, I missed an opportunity to teach my children this lesson.  And I'm hoping that I did not get the "BAD MOM" label and they will invite us back again!  Please accept my apology and maybe let me explain myself a little :) 

It's like the battle between the good conscience and the bad conscience.  You know, like you see in the cartoons - the angelic one sits on one shoulder and the naughty one sits on the other shoulder, both trying to get inside your head. 

Well my D-conscience is neither good nor bad, its just constantly inside my head...talking to me...ALL.DAY.LONG. 

While I'm sitting there enjoying a little bit of adult conversation, possibly even non-D related....This is what is going on inside my head:

Why is Ally sitting on the swing all by herself?

She's not swinging, just sitting there.

Is she ok?

Back to the adult conversation, but keep glancing back at Ally.

Ok, better check.

"Ally, you ok?"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Then why are you just sitting on the swing, but not moving?"

"I'm just resting Mom."

"Ok."

Back to conversation...although now I have no idea what we were talking about.

After another fun playdate, its time to head home, here's what's inside my head:

Time to go.  Let's clean up.

How long has it been since Ally checked her BG?

How long since she has had anything to eat?

Does she look ok?

What type of activity has she been doing?

Should we check her BG now or when we get home?

How long until she eats again?

"Come on kids, let's go."

Gather up diaper bag, D-bag, kids.  Get in the car.  Head home.

Does she look ok?

I realize that I didn't even offer to help clean up...BAD MOMMY!  BAD FRIEND! 

They'll never invite us back!

Look back at Ally again.  She's resting her head.

"Are you ok, Ally?"

Think again, when was last BG check?

"Yes, Mom!"

How much activity?

She looks ok, but why is she laying her head down?

Duh!  She played hard.

But my Ally can never just be tired or worn out from a day of hard play!  I have to question everything.  I have to think the worst.  I have to check!  Because if I don't she could suffer from hypoglycemia. 

(See definition of hypoglycemia below taken from the JDRF website.)

Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) is the most common and most dangerous condition for many people with type 1 diabetes. Very low blood sugar may lead to insulin shock, which can be life threatening if not promptly treated. Low blood sugar occurs when the body has too little food/glucose or too much insulin.


The following are all potential reasons that a person with diabetes might have low blood sugar:   Too much insulin taken, Eating less than usual, Eating later than usual, Insulin was injected at a site on the body where the absorption rate is faster than usual, Injecting extra insulin after forgetting about a previous dose, More exercise than normal, Illness or injury , Other hormones, Medication interaction

The following is a list of general symptoms that indicate low blood sugar (the person with type 1 diabetes may exhibit one or more of these):  Dizziness, Nervousness, Personality change/irrational behavior, Blurry vision, Shakiness, Nausea, Crying, Sluggishness, Sweating, Poor coordination, Hunger, Lightheadedness, Irritability, Drowsiness, Erratic response to questions, Inability to concentrate

Severe symptoms (symptoms as listed above, plus):  Convulsions, Unconsciousness

So, while I may be annoyed that I can't multi-task like I once could, I am so VERY grateful to the little 
D-conscience inside my head.  Because I HAVE TO QUESTION......I HAVE TO CHECK!

My Big Sister, My Hero

Jessi is 4 years old.

Ally is her big sister and her hero! Sure they fight like cats and dogs, but in the end they are best friends. I hear them tell each other that and it melts my heart.

Just today I overheard Jessi saying, "Ally, you are my bestest friend."
And on another recent day I heard Ally, "Hey, Jessi, Do you want to play best friends?" I'm not sure what 'play' best friends is exactly, but I love it anyway.

Jessi looks up to her big sister; she wants to be just like her. I have known this for a long time. That's what little sisters do right? I know that I have looked up to my big sister my whole life. (Although there is no need to go telling her that and giving her a big head or anything!)

Well, when I say Jessi wants to be JUST like her sister, I mean it. Today she came out wearing one of Ally's pump pouches. She had some sort of little video game in there as her makeshift pump. She had also packed a little backpack. Contents of the backpack sure did resemble Ally's diabetes bag. Meter (we had an old one in their toy doctor kit)-check, notebook for recording her BG-check, and don't forget the Smarties for treating low blood sugar-check! She had separated the smarties by color. I overheard her saying that if she was high she needed to eat the yellow ones, but if she was low she needed to eat the pink ones. Hmmmm....guess we still have some educating to do here, good thing she is my non-D kiddo!! She even wore the pump pouch when we went out to dinner last night and played the part by "checking her sugar" before we ate, asking Daddy how many carbs her dinner was, and pretending to enter it into her pump. It was so cute.

(While this was cute, I am thankful that she is not JUST like Ally and I pray that she will never need to copy Ally's routine.)

And I think Ally loved every minute of it! Was it because she felt important? Or maybe loved? Or was it because she felt comfort? In the restaurant I watched Ally as Jessi was pretending to check her sugar. She was beaming. It made me wonder....was she happy because her little sister thinks she is so cool and wanted to be just like her? Or was she ultimately happy because someone else was like her - She was not the only one checking her sugar before dinner. I think it was the latter.

A few weeks ago Ally told me that Jessi said she wished she had diabetes too. Then Ally said, "I kind of wish she did too." I gasped! Oh no, honey, we don't! But then as she was talking to me about it, I realized that she just wanted to be like everybody else...like ANYbody else! She feels different in our house. She feels different in her classroom. She feels different around her cousins, her friends. She IS different everywhere she goes. I take this for granted.

Thanks to Jessi, for making her feel a little less different today!